But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
