I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
