dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
