think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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