Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
