just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
