We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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