if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
