I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
