well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
