My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
she peed on how many people?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
