I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
