You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
how can u be prego again
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
