What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!