It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.