Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude