so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow