Me too!
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
