i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
