Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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