Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
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Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
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there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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