Already got asked if we're dating
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
