Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
