My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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