tell your sister to shave her snatch
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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