so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
