I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
My ass is underappreciated
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Randomize