it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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