I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize