R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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