It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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