Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
wow bdsm is so cute
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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