So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
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He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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