Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I didn't notice because vodka
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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