It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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