I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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