I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
