I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
This show inspires me to have sex in space
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize