I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
