My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Let's paint friendship bongs
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
So much rum. So many feels.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
