He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
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