I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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