official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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