he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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