I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize