youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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