I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
