Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
