You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
