So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize