I think I won the penis lottery.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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