you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
