Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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