do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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