Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
