i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
