I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
