1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
