A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
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I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
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It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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