were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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