i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
