Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
