No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
